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Lyn needs to work on my story and stop playing World of motherfucking Warcraft.
( Although she did at least create someone in My image. )
Only a fraction of the glory which I possess, but even a fraction of such is, of course, enough to sear the average person's brain and reduce it to mush (not that I don't suspect the average person's brain is not ALREADY COMPOSED of mush, you understand). |
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Dec. 5th, 2005 @ 12:40 pm
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 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
Last Wednesday I stole ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2) tavalya_ra's purse (-30 points). In February I donated bone marrow to theshadowplay in a life-saving procedure (300 points). In November I ruled Iran as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last Sunday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last Friday I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-514 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!
Sincerely,
orifiel |
THAT'S HOT. |
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Now I am twenty two, minions! Please to be falling down in congratulory adulation.Current Mood:  cheerful |
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Dear Sean,
I have a massive problem! The girl who I've totally been in love with
for YEARS and YEARS and YEARS and YEARS and ALWAYS WILL BE is all up
with the hots for this gross guy friend of ours who I was okay with
before he hit puberty. He has old-lady-blue pubes. Surely you can see
how much he doesn't deserve her!! What do I do, Sean?
Luv <3<3<3<3
Orfiel
PS. I can't kill him, she'd notice. Also, I don't think I look good in
black leather, it makes me seem peaky.
PPS. ORFIELS UNITE <3 Why do you have that extra I, anyway? Is it to
symbolically represent your penis? Not that it's not cool, I'm just
saying.
( You can't kill him, huh? Well, that doesn't leave me with a lot of options, does it? ) |
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I LIVE
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Dec. 24th, 2004 @ 10:14 am
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MERRY CHRISTMAS, PEONS (or whatever bloody holiday you people celebrate). I'd wrap myself up with ribbons and put on a bow, except I'm not a ten year old girl, so let's just answer a letter instead.
If one has finally accepted that one's Lord and Master has a sweet
crush on a lady, what would be the correct form of address for that
lady, considering that one does not wish to offend one's Lord even if
he has BROKEN HER HEART SO THERE.
-Delilah
How do you like your cocoa?
-Rene
( Oh, don't call my feelings for Claris a crush. That makes her feel far too comfortable. ) |
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MY HATRED FOR lynstraine GROWS WITH EACH PASSING DAY. Damn you and your day of the fish!
Apr. 1st, 2004 @ 04:50 pm
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YES, MY MINIONS! Arise, and cast off the yokes of your masters! You have the element of surprise! Pinch those who would devour you, pinch them until their flesh turns red like your very own shells! Color the ice in which you were packed with the blood of the infidels!
Mar. 18th, 2004 @ 08:18 pm
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Happy Valentine's Day, minions! Go forth and whip anyone you find attractive, as the ancient Romans did during the festival of Lupercalia.
Also, here's a special poem that I stole from somewhere(because I am a genius, and stealing is what we do), perfect for sending to your most hated enemy on this day (I think I'll give this to Donovan):
Roses are red
Violets are blue
They'll need dental records
To identify you.
The sweetness has caused excruciating cavities! ♥ ♥ ♥
Feb. 14th, 2004 @ 12:47 pm
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y do u look the way u do? were u born that way or have been horibly disfigured when u were an infant? that would be mean cuz i never even saw u and u don't exist. nobody is real, nothing is real. you see, lain is the key she will destroy the border of the real world and the wired. we are all machines, software, and executable program with a body....mwahahahahahaaa....lalalalalalallalalaaaa...fafafafafafafafafaaa...wawawwawawawawaa...xaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaaaa.quaquaquaquaquaquaaaa!!!Serial Experiments Lain rocks!
yours ever obesessive fan,
Elralinde
ps..my real question is-why is your hair so pretty and kewl? and will u marry me?
( I was planning to edit this letter for coherency and egregious maiming of the English language, but, well, I just don't feel like it. )
Feb. 6th, 2004 @ 09:06 pm
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1) Advice: A girl I was really good friends with and I had a huge fight,
and her family (among others) are now treating me as inferior. What
should I do?
2) Can I ask Lucius a question? If so: Will you be my friend?!
~Dani~
"I'm not edible." ~Alice
( Okay, so I know it's been a while since I answered any of my letters. I think this one's from May. )
Feb. 6th, 2004 @ 08:40 pm
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